Whether or not this overused platitude is true is NOT the subject of this essay. Long debates can and have been held on the subject, but not here...or at least not today.
The problem with this well-worn phrase is that some seem to feel that it is an excuse to seek out the difficult, the dangerous and the unpleasant. Rather than trying to avoid things that hurt, they complacently accept it, because it will make them stronger.
This makes about as much sense as letting the bus graze you. Not enough to let it kill you, but enough to make it hurt a lot. Now, that is an extreme example, and most who quote this phrase are not referring to physical injury, but far too many seem willing to quote this phrase and abrogate any responsibility to avoid that which causes pain.
Unfortunately, in their masochistic desire to experience pain, they often carry other along the same path, and when their victims complain, they pull out their shield of righteousness, quoting the phrase, as if they were doing their victims a favor.
Worse still, believers in this unproven platitude often rush towards pain in the belief that they will become stronger, and again they often drag victims in their wake. They believe so firmly that they fail to see that while pain may bring strength (remember, unproven), it also leaves scars and that pain does not create wisdom. It is in learning how to avoid pain that we learn wisdom.
Also, those who quote the phrase are often masking their own inability to avoid pain. In point of fact, they often become weak, without the strength or wisdom to get out of the way. They often seem to display a laziness, being unwilling to work to avoid pain.
On occasion, pain does make us stronger, but far too often, it leaves us scarred, bitter and permanently damaged. These are not strength. When hard times approach, the greatest strength and the greatest wisdom are shown when we do the right things to avoid and lessen the pain. In this way we show that we have learned the lessons of life, and have the strength to use them.
