Not Looking Forward to Anything

I do not look forward to anything.

I find that I have to expand on that to understand it myself. I do not mean that I do not have anything to look forward to. I mean that I do not anticipate. I mean the little things. I do not look forward to going home at the end of the day.

Now, before my wife explodes, this is not about her, or our son, or anything in particular. I just don't look forward to it. It is just the next thing in my day.

I don't look forward to the weekend. I am relieved when it arrives. I don't like going to work, so I definitely don't look forward to that, but there is nothing wrong with work. There is nothing really wrong with anything. I just don't look forward to anything.

I know how I feel, but I wish I could explain it better.