Never Trust Barbeque Sauce

That's right, never trust barbeque sauce.

And, if you have to trust barbeque sauce, wear a red shirt.

That is today's wisdom, and here in Texas, that's important wisdom, because if you do not know the wiliness of barbeque sauce, then you are lost.

And, never trust anyone who was born after the Beatles came to America, 1964.  If they weren't born by then they are too young to really understand the important things in life.  I may only have been seven, but I remember...well, I had older sisters.

There is only one Star Trek, the original.  It isn't Star Trek: TOS, it is just Star Trek, the first, the original, the one that doesn't have to have a subtitle.  I remember watching it first run, I was 9...at the start of the first season.  I had to beg my Mom and Dad to let me stay up late every Thursday, because it ran 30 minutes past my bedtime.

I remember the moon landing in 1969.

I didn't trust the president then, and I don't trust the president now.  Then it was Tricky Dick, and now it is Cadet Bone Spur.  One was a dishonest politician, and the other is...should I be nice, or use the "m" word?

In fact, it is a bad idea to trust any kind of sauce.  They sit there on your plate, looking longingly at your shirt.  I can just imagine the bits of sauce yelling up from the plate at the sauce on your fork...

"Jump!  Go on!  Do it!  Shirt! Shirt! Shirt!"

And then cheering when their fellow sauce bit hits your shirt.

Have I rambled on long enough?  No, let's keep going.

Remember to pet your dog and kick your cat.   No!  Wait!  Not kick, what's the word I am looking for...stroke, yes, that's it.  Start over.

Remember to pet your dog and stroke your cat.  It doesn't take red sauce stains off your shirt, but you'll smile and you won't care as much.

And now, take a deep breath.  And another...now cough, you know you want to, and now get up and get another soda from the kitchen.

And remember....

Never trust barbeque sauce.